by greenbamboostudios

In a moment of inattentiveness, I grab a 50 lb dumbbell off the rack and carelessly drop it on the floor. It bounces back, hard, catches in between the thumb and index finger on my right hand, and pushes the thumb out of its socket.

There is a sudden numbing and foreign pain. I look down to see my thumb dislocated; eerily out of joint and misaligned with the rest of my fingers.

I react reflexively and push my thumb down where it snaps back into place.

I’ve had full mobility of this thumb since then. But it has been tender, achy and sore all week.

In between bouts of warm Epson salt soaks and icing, I’ve had plenty of time to consider all the other ways in which I throw my weight around.

Specifically, what is mine to hold in the palm of my hand, and what is best left in the palms of another’s.

I can do my best to control my attitude and my responses.

But maybe it’s time to stop using my reputation and good standing in this town to always get what I want.