Month: October, 2016


A little girl drew me a picture.


In it, I am playing a piano with a big heart on the side, beneath a large chandelier, as she stands nearby.


She was explaining all this to me when the server for her table passed by with their first course.


“Where am I?” he asked.


She looked at him like he was crazy, then pointed vaguely outside the scrap of paper that was her drawing.


“You’re somewhere over there … you’re not in the picture,” she said.


It’s nice to be the one that matters the most.


But it’s a lot nicer to be able to keep things that matter the most within frame.



Also overheard at the gym, a well-meaning overweight man telling his equally overweight friend, “It’s alright for us to eat BBQ on our diets. All the fat is already gone from the meat because it burned off during cooking.”


Even if this statement is true, which it isn’t, there are a lot of other hidden costs with this meal. The BBQ sauce is loaded with sugar. Most of the traditional sides have additional sugar, butter, fat or mayonnaise that we don’t think about when we order them. And nobody ever stops at just one piece of chicken or one rib or 4 ounces of pulled pork.


It made me wonder if my own thoughts, actions and words were just as well meaning. Or if they harbored darker subconscious motives of which I was equally unaware.



At the gym I overheard a woman say to her girlfriend, “You have midget arms.”


Which struck me as being so different than how guys workout with each other. A guy usually says to another, “Come on, you got this, push.”


Gender differences aside, it reminded me that this sweetest day, the sweetest things aren’t candy hearts, flowers or teddy bears. It’s the encouraging and motivating things we say to each other in times of struggle.


When I told my coach that I had been going to bed a little hungry every night this week, he was horrified. And then we adjusted my daily intake to 500 more calories.


If the body is hungry, and this hunger isn’t addressed, the body feeds that hunger by breaking down precious gains of muscle mass to sustain itself.


Which is why when I’m hungry for love, or to be heard, I’ve stopped breaking down. And I look outside of myself for sustenance.