Month: August, 2018


I should have known better.

But I went in to lift anyway, working through a little sinus congestion and a slight tickle in my throat.

A few days later, I’m lying in bed with a summer cold. 

I find it hard to be still, even though doing nothing at all is sometimes the best solution. 



I placed 4th in my class last weekend at the competition.


I’m thrilled with how much I’ve improved, and I’m excited to continue with my journey in bodybuilding.


However, no matter how big the show, or how well I do, I know my real place.


I am loved.


I have the opportunity this week to play a Nord keyboard, immediately falling in love with its sound and feel.


This makes my much less expensive Korg seem completely inadequate, even though it has served me well all these years for off-site and outdoor gigs.


Then at the sound check for a wedding ceremony, my fears are dismissed.


My trusty keyboard is perfect for me, just the way it is.


I am thinking about the Nord as a cocky 18 year-old boy interrupts the posing session with my trainer.


He has just completed his first show a few months ago, and eagerly peels off his tank top to demonstrate the areas he thinks I can improve on.


As soon as he left, my trainer asks me how I feel.


I’m feeling just fine.


I am perfectly comfortable with what we have been working on because it reflects who I am as a person.


I mean, why should I pose as someone that I’m not?



I’ve been clapping my hands a lot.

9 days out to my second competition and I haven’t cried yet. 

On my first try at this, I already had a few sniffles and two full out melt downs by this time. 

I’m not sure what next week will bring.

But this one has been a rough one with work politics. 

I’m not saying I wasn’t pissed off or frustrated. 

I just kept clapping my hands and holding on to my happiness.

And counting my blessings. 


I am given a list of ceremony songs for next week’s wedding.


But a few days later, I am told by the planner that the couple wants the songs to be played “by computer or CD.”


I send back a polite email saying that I prefer to play this music myself, because the violin player and I will be able to time it perfectly to fit the walk of the wedding party and the bride.


I still haven’t heard back yet.


But I have downloaded the songs onto my phone, ordered the necessary cables to feed the audio from an iPhone8 to my amplifier, and rehearsed the music on my own.


I’m ready for this music to go on as a live performance, or via recording.


Whatever the decision, I’m prepared.